It’s been a while. I’m
great with fiction but when it comes to blogging it’s just empty air with a few
words scattered around unless I have something important I need to convey. So,
yes, it’s been a while.
This morning, our priest, Father Furman Buchanan, made a
comment in his sermon that struck me as very important. Along with a thousand other things, I love
and respect Father Furman for his ability to tell a wonderful story and his
unique take on life that seems to clarify so much. Forgive me for paraphrasing; if I’d known how
important this would be, I’d have written it down. Father Furman said that fear is a normal part
of our lives. The way we handle it,
makes all the difference.
It occurred to me that when you have a chronic disease like
Multiple Sclerosis, fear is a constant.
You worry about the new ache in your back that wasn’t there last week. You worry about the fact that you went into a
brain fog earlier and couldn’t remember the name of the guy you’ve known for
ten years. It was on the tip of your
tongue and you just couldn’t spit it out.
You worry because you tripped going across a completely flat surface. You
wonder if these are temporary MS symptoms or if they are the beginning of
something bigger. Or, even more disturbing,
could this be a sign of some other, strange and frightening ailment in the initial
stages?
I’ve had nothing short of miraculous health for an MS
patient. I suffer from pain, banding (MS
hug,) fatigue and a number of other issues, but I’m still quite mobile and do
mostly what I need to do. Yet, when
Annette Funicello died from MS complications, I kept seeing her in that chair,
needing assistance for everything and fearing that I, too, would be there one
day.
Let’s face it, I’m a worrier...my bitten nails are proof.
So what do I do about fear?
How do I handle it?
1. I inform myself. I read everything I can about whatever is
bothering me. I also try to remember
that not everything you read on the internet is factual. You can contract lung cancer if you check the
internet for symptoms of your chest cold.
So use reason and don’t let your imagination get the best of you. Being informed gives you a head start and
helps you know your options.
2. I ask my doctor.
(I have a real fear that my doctor is going to tell me something I don’t
want to hear, so this is a tough one for me.)
I write down my questions so I’m ready whenever I get to sit down with
my neurologist. He listens and really
tries to allay my fears.
3. I take my health
seriously. I do yoga, and ride an exercise
bike every day to keep in shape. I take
Vitamin D and other supplements that seem to be beneficial. I watch what I eat and keep a look out for
new developments that might help me.
Taking an active part in my health is something I can control and for a
control freak like me, that’s important.
4. I meditate. That’s right; I really believe that positive
imaging and positive thought go a long way in making me feel better. Mind over matter is a very big tool when
handling pain and uncertainty.
5. Along the same
lines as meditation, I pray for others and for my own health. I have a list of people that I pray for daily
and many that come and go. I’m an Episcopalian,
and we tend to be a very loving, accepting lot, so I know others are praying
for me, too. When I pray I feel
connected to a world of people who care for each other and that somebody
stronger than myself has a hold on the situation.
6. Finally, I
challenge myself. When I feel really bad
and fear the worst, the temptation is to take a nap (which I sometimes do) but
I find that involving myself in projects to help myself or somebody else, will
actually alleviate some of the physical symptoms. When I’m writing, or helping someone else, or
going shopping with my husband, I forget the worst and get on with my life.
For MS patients, fear can be a constant but that doesn’t
mean you have to give in to it. Live
your life and take care of yourself so others won’t have to.
